


Do It For You

by speedyvibraniumdevil



Series: Matt Murdock/Daredevil [1]
Category: Marvel, daredevil - Fandom, matt murdock - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, F/M, Guns, Implied Smut, Mild Smut but not explicit, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 03:23:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15379587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speedyvibraniumdevil/pseuds/speedyvibraniumdevil
Summary: You and Matt Murdock were partners in fighting crime. You bonded over the same dark past and fell head over heels for one another. The two of you were perfect. But one day something goes wrong, and Matt doesn’t know how to deal with it.





	Do It For You

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this is probably the most angsty thing I've written ever. This was a request (I don't take them anymore) and was inspired by the song "Daddy Issues" by the Neighbourhood.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked Matt as the two of you laid on his bed. **  
**

It was the morning on a lazy Sunday. Your head was resting on his chest, your fingers running over the scars there. Meanwhile, his own fingers were playing with your hair. His chest rose and fell and you could hear his heartbeat, just as he could hear yours perfectly. He liked that sound. He liked that and your scent. It was like a drug.

“Our future,” he answered.

A smile graced your lips, “And what do you see in our future?”

“Us running away together after all of this is done. Getting married, having kids. Me going full time as a lawyer and you working as a veterinarian.”

Your heart fluttered and Matt grinned when he heard it.

“All of that with me?” you asked.

“I wouldn’t want it with anyone else,” he said.

You lifted your head to look down at the man that you loved. He turned his head to face you and the corner of his mouth tilted up. With his free hand he reached up and ran his thumb over your bottom lip where it was a little busted. A little souvenir from the last time you and Matt had patrolled the streets at night.

“I love you,” you said.

Matt’s heart raced, as it often did when he was around you.

“I love you too.”

You leaned down and kissed him and he returned it passionately. His tongue prodded yours and you obliged. In a quick motion, he rolled so that he was on top of you, between your legs. You giggled and the rest that Matt could remember was getting lost in your sweet taste.

* * *

 

Matt was lost in a trance of the memory.

“Matt?”

It was Karen Paige, his good friend and assistant.

“Matt?” she asked again.

Finally, he turned towards Karen, who was standing in the doorway of his office at Nelson & Murdock. She had a file in her hands and a concerned look on her face. Matt saw this through his enhanced senses.

“Yeah?” he answered.

Karen stepped over the threshold and with a clicking of her heels she walked over to his desk.

“Are you okay?”

“Uhh, yeah. I’m fine.”

He did a horrible job at hiding it. His smile never reaching his eyes. Matt wasn’t in any particular emotional pain at the moment. In fact, it was the opposite. He currently felt nothing. He was numb.

Karen set down the file on his desk, “You know, you should really talk about it. It doesn’t do you any good to keep it to yourself.”

Matt understood what she was saying, processed it. He knew that she was right, deep down, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to talk about it.

Still, he nodded, “Thanks, Karen.”

She frowned and walked around the desk to place a hand on his shoulder.

“You know I’m always here for you Matt,” she said.

He managed a small smile, a little forced, but he did appreciate Karen’s words.

“Yeah. I know.”

* * *

 

You and Matt had worked side by side as vigilantes in Hell’s Kitchen. Matt was completely opposed to it at the beginning. You were the one person in the world that he cared the most about and he didn’t want you to get hurt. Nonetheless, you managed to plead your case.

You see, the major thing that you and Matthew had in common, was that both of your fathers had been murdered in cold blood. Unlike, Matt, you still had your mother, until she died of cancer when you were 13. When the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen made his appearance many years later, you fell in love with the idea of bringing justice to the city. Soon enough, you met Matt and little did you know that he was the Daredevil himself.

When you found out who he was, it didn’t take you long to ask him the question. You wanted to fight alongside him. You had taken self defense classes and would love to learn more from him. You argued over it for quite some time, but once he realized that you wouldn’t budge, he gave in. He trained you as best as he could for months and when you were ready, you became his partner in crime fighting.

It was exhilarating. You loved it and Matt learned to like working alongside someone else, especially when it was you. Even though he still constantly worried about you. You learned to patch each other up and rely on each other more than anyone else.

Meanwhile, your relationship flourished. Matt had been so used to keeping his feeling internalized. It was what he was taught by Stick and it was all he ever knew, until he met you. You had taught him to open up, that it was okay. For once he could see that maybe being in love and doing what he did could have room in his life.

Together you dealt with your issues and talked about your fantasies of having a happy life after you were done with your business. After all, you didn’t plan on doing this forever.

Being the only other person who knew about your identities, Foggy couldn’t believe it. He often called you guys insane and wondered how in the hell you could condone what Matt did. When he saw just how happy Matt was he stopped complaining.

“Maybe with someone else watching his back, he’ll be much safer,” he said one day.

Although every now and then he’d make a joke about being a “twisted couple” when the both of you would show up at the bar with bruises or cuts.

“I guess that’s what makes you guys are perfect for each other,” he’d say.

* * *

 

They were at Josie’s. Music played in the background (“Daddy Issues” by The Neighborhood). A group of people burst out laughing in their corner of the bar. There was the sound of pool balls crashing into one another. Josie poured Matt a glass of Whiskey and Foggy watched him as he threw it back and drank it in one gulp. He put the glass down with a thud and one could see the scratches on his knuckles.

“How are you holding up?” Foggy asked.

Matt could tell that he was trying to make it sound casual, but he could hear the underlying worry in his voice.

“I’m as good as I can be, Fog.”

Before taking a sip of his beer he said, “Are you sure about that?”

Matt furrowed his brow and looked down at his empty tumbler.

“Did Karen put you up to this?”

Foggy shook his head. His heart skipped a beat from having been caught. He was going to play it cool, but then sighed. He knew his best friend could tell if he was lying.

“Look, she’s really worried about you, man. We both are.”

“That’s really nice of you guys, but I can take care of myself. I’m getting pretty good at my other job.”

He tried playing dumb and referred to his Daredevil job.

“You know that’s not what I was talking about, Matt. I was talking about-”

“Yeah, Foggy. I know,” he interrupted.

“You never even told me what happened, Matt. It all happened to fast. One second you two were talking about getting married one day and the next she’s-”

“I know what happened next, Foggy. I was there.”

“Then please, tell me what happened. You might act like nothing’s wrong, but I can see that it’s killing you. But you’re not even dealing with it.”

“I just can’t think about that right now, Foggy,” Matt’s voice faltered.

And yet, that’s all he ever thought about.

* * *

 

Although you worked on many “missions” with Matt, your main obsession after becoming his partner in crime was one major thing: Taking down the gang that was responsible for your father’s death.

Matt knew this, and as someone who dealt with the same thing, he made sure to aide you in every step of the way. As a lawyer, he did his own research in the day time, often enlisting the help of Karen, who was a journalist as well. You’d use whatever information you acquired to your advantage and went out into the night with it.

The main goal was to take down the leader, but it had taken you weeks to figure out where his hideout was. In the meantime you had taken out smaller groups, and took members in for questioning. You were getting frustrated, but Matt made sure to keep you calm and level headed.

You were usually much better at this, but there were quite a few subjects that struck a cord in you and got you riled up. And this was number one.

* * *

 

Matt walked back to his apartment in the pouring rain. The rushing sound and the pounding it made on the ground often messed with his senses and he hated it. Luckily he had the route home memorized already, so he didn’t have to worry much about it.

People hustle and bustled in the street, some had umbrellas and some didn’t. Cars rushed on. Music came from bars that he passed by.

When he got to the front of his building, Matt stopped. A wave of deja vu hit him hard. On a rainy night like this, in this very spot, you and Matt had your first kiss. It was at the end of your first date, before you knew he was the Daredevil. The evening had gone so perfectly. The two of you had a grand old time and Matt knew that he was smitten. And so did you.

You offered to walk him home and halfway through your walk it started raining, just likenow. The two of you giggled as you reached the front entrance. But neither of you let the rain ruin the night, Not even Matt. If anything, it made it even better. 

You stood at the doorstep, neither of you making any moves to get inside.

“I had a great night,” Matt had said as he shivered from the cold.

“Me too,” your teeth chattered, “We should do this again.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind if it rained again either.”

You laughed and it made Matt smile. Suddenly your heartbeat quickened. The rain muffled the sound, but he could still make it out.

“You know. Some would say this is perfect weather for kissing,” you said.

“Oh yeah?”

The two of you got closer and closer.

“Yeah,” you nodded.

“Why don’t we test it out for ourselves?”

The both of you leaned in, letting your lips brush against each other’s before connecting them in a heated kiss. It was cold, no doubt and the rain did not stop cascading down on you both, but you didn’t care. All Matt could focus on in that moment was how damn good it felt to kiss you, and how he wanted to do it again and again.

Today, Matt stood alone at the entrance of his apartment building as the rain poured down. He reached up and ran his thumb over his lips. He swore that he could feel the ghost of your kiss.

* * *

 

Finally, the day came. The bastard had been hiding out in what was supposed to be a toy factory. It was apparently where he held meeting after hours and traded weapons with other groups.

The plan was simple: kick their asses and make sure the cops catch them red handed.

And it all went according to plan…until you got carried away.

Everyone else was down and you had the leader in your clutches, but you needed to know. Demanded to know why he had killed your father. If he remembered him. You threatened to kill him, knocked him out, and Matt tried to pull you away. You didn’t expect yourself to get so emotional and enraged, but you did. Your father had been your hero, your knight in shining armor, and this piece of shit had taken him away from you.

“I know how you feel. I know how much it matters to you, but you don’t have to do this. We’re going to make this right,” Matt said calmly, with his hand on your arm.

“But it’s not fair!” you said with a knife to the man’s face.

“No. It’s not, but we’re going to do everything to make it fair.” 

He was right. You knew he was right. Which is why you backed away and dropped the knife. Tears ran down your cheeks. The man was unconscious in the chair you had tied him in.

What you didn’t know, was that in that time wasted, one of the others had woken up. Matt heard him and took out his billy club and hit him with it, but not before he pulled the trigger on the gun in his hand twice. The first bullet missed, but the second one didn’t.

Pain shot through your abdomen and you cried out. The blood drained from Matt’s face as he heard the bullet go straight through you. With the force of the impact you were knocked off your feet, but Matt managed to catch you just in time.

Suddenly he has tunnel vision for you and only you. He wrapped his arms around you, trying to hold you up. You fought to stay upright, to be okay, you you wobbled into him. Matt’s hands shook as he tried his best to apply pressure, but he knew it was no use. He had to get you medical attention. Forgetting everyone else in the building, he scooped you up in his arms and ran out onto the street.

You winced in pain, “Aww fuck.”

“It’s okay, baby. I’m gonna get you some help, okay?” he said in what was supposed to be a reassuring tone, but it was rushed and full of panic.

He could hear your labored breathing, your heartbeat was off, the blood draining from you. He wanted to ignore it, to think you were going to be okay, but he struggled to. You rested your head in his neck, your vision already starting to get blurry. You could taste copper in you mouth.

“Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me, sweetheart.”

“Matt…I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to kill him. It’s my fault,” you said weakly.

“No, don’t be sorry, darling. What matters is that you didn’t do it, okay? You never would, because that’s the person you are. You’re kind. Much kinder than I am or ever could be,” Matt spoke fast as he ran.

He was planning on running all the way to the hospital, but at this rate, you’d bleed out before you got there. His apartment was much, much closer. If he could just get you there and sew you up in time…Or if he could get Claire…

He could feel the blood flooding onto his hands and seeping into his suit. Your heartbeat was slowing down significantly and your scent was masked by the copper smell of blood. It overwhelmed him. 

The bullet must have hit something major. You probably didn’t have much time. He was in full panic. He couldn’t lose you. He  _wouldn’t_ lose you.

He was barely getting past the blocks of warehouses when you spoke up,

“Matty, stop.”

“What?”

“Stop. Stop running.”

“No. I need to get you help. Just stay with me,” he said desperately.

You touched his face and said as sternly as you could, “Matt listen to me.” He slowed down next to an abandoned warehouse and did as you said.

“I’m not gonna make it. Just stop.”

His blood ran cold when you said that. You were always so optimistic and right now you weren’t being that. He needed you to say something optimistic. 

You could feel your limbs going numb as the blood drained out of you. You weren’t going to fake optimism about this.

“No, don’t say that. You don’t know that, Y/N. I won’t-” he choked on his words, “I won’t let you die.”

Matt was crying now, but you couldn’t see because of his mask.

“Take it off,” you said, “I want to see your face.”

He tilted his head towards you, as close to looking at you as he could. His breathing labored, like he could be having a panic attack. The sound of sirens was in the distance as well as cars honking at each other. The world was moving beyond them, unaware of what was going on.

Matt got down on his knees and held you against his chest with one arm while he pulled off his mask. His dark hair stuck up, reminding you of those mornings you spent in bed together. It was endearing. And you could finally see his eyes. The hazel-green color was flooded with tears.

“This is all my fault, Y/N. I should have never let you do this with me. I should have never let you fight by my side.”

“No, it’s not your fault, Matty. You know I would have done it anyway,” you smirked weakly.

He rested his forehead against yours and kissed you hard on the lips.

“I’m sorry that we never got to run away together,” you said.

He pushed your hair out of your face and spoke with urgent hope, “We still can. I can still help you. I can call Claire, she can fix you.”

He spoke with such certainty and conviction despite the sniffling mess that he was. It made you sad. You could feel the little life you had left, slowly drain away.

“It’s too late for that. I know you know that. You can hear it can’t you?”

Tears were in your eyes now too. Matt had his hand placed over your bullet wound. He tried to hard to apply some kind of pressure, but just as you said, he knew it was too late. You opened your eyes wide, fighting to get a good look at the love of your life if only to say something important to him.

“Matty, listen to me. Don’t let anyone keep you from doing what feels right okay? Not Foggy or Karen or Stick or anyone else. What you’re doing? It’s what you’re meant to do. Okay?”

Matt fought back a sob and nodded in response. The copper smell filled the air and could hardly hear your heart anymore despite his super hearing. You closed your eyes, unable to fight back the darkness any longer.

“I love you, Matty…”

He held you against his chest as you breathed your last dying breath.

* * *

 

Matt stood in front of the open box where he kept his red suit and helmet next to your old suit and mask. Before your death, being Daredevil had been an exhilarating feeling. It was a passion and he couldn’t imagine not being in it. He served justice where the court of law failed. But now, all he used it for was to distract himself.

Being in the red suit meant not having to spend another waking minute in this damn apartment where you used to spend the majority of your time in. A place where you would read to him and sing songs. It meant not having to sleep in a bed where you used to make love and spend your nights talking about your future. Being in the red suit meant beating the shit out of the same types of guys that killed you and your dad and his own.

It was unhealthy, he knew. He rarely got any sleep, even though he tried to meditate to make up for it. Or if he did sleep, it was on the couch.

But now, Matt wasn’t so sure if he could hide away from it all anymore. For months he had shoved away those feelings from that night. He hadn’t talked about it with anyone and he hadn’t cried since then and he realized that in the process he was forgetting everything that you had taught him.

How to open up, how to talk about things, and most importantly, you taught him to be happier.

Matt crouched down and took out your black suit that you wore every night. As he felt the fabric, he remembered your last words to him.

_Don’t let anyone keep you from doing what feels right okay? Not Foggy or Karen or anyone else. What you’re doing? It’s what you’re meant to do. Okay?_

It was this memory that finally broke him. 

His vision blurred as tears welled up in his eyes and then rolled down his cheeks. He stepped back and fell onto the bed. His fingers continued to run over the material until he found it, the hole in the fabric where you had been shot. His breathing became erratic and he silently sobbed while clutching on to the suit. His hot tears landed on its black fabric.

He missed you so much. He promised you that he would protect you and that he would take you away to a happy place. But now that was gone and so were you.

Now that you were gone, it’s like  _half of him had disappeared_. And he was only making that worse by trying to eliminate any part of his life that used to have you in it. 

You wouldn’t have wanted to see him this way. You would have wanted him to move on and do what he was meant to do, just as you had said, and holding it all in was the last thing he should have done. 

It was what Stick would have told him to do, but Matt wasn’t Stick. Matt didn’t  _want_  to be Stick, but he also didn’t want to stop this job all together like Foggy or Karen would have wanted him to. 

He cried, letting it all go finally. He hadn’t cried since that night and he thought of all the happy memories between the two of you. He thought of your smile and your laugh. Of your stubbornness. Your love for him. And overall, how you just understood him when nobody else seemed to.

No, he wasn’t going to be what anyone else wanted him to be.

He was going to be Matt. The Matt that you fell in love with.

And he would  **do it for you**.


End file.
